How to Deal with Negative Thoughts
Last night, when trying to fall asleep, an annoying thought evaded my mind. It was about something important to me. And I immediately felt tense and vulnerable.
Be it the practice of meditation, or pure luck, I stopped for a second to observe what was going on with my mind. I had two choices. Believing the thought and let it ruin my sleep, or challenging it. I chose the latter by making fun of it.
“Every time you have a mad, unkind, sad or cranky thought, your brain releases negative chemicals that activate your limbic system and make your mind and body feel bad.”
This is hard to accept when our minds race with negative thoughts all the time. Are we condemned to this condition? Yes, and no.
The thoughts that rush through are not always true, but we blindly accept what comes to the mind. It seems like they’re true, as we can vividly picture horrible scenarios and mad situations. The process is self-reinforcing. The more we believe it to be true, the more we think about it. The more we think about it, the more it seems true. Tiring, I know.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. There is a powerful tool we can use to stop the cycle. Questioning.
Instead of picturing the worst-case scenario, we can actually ask: why the hell would this be reality? Or we can make fun of our own thoughts. “Do you really think I’m a failure because of an exam? Seems like you never heard me singing.”
Yes, thoughts are important, and they have a huge influence in our state. But the importance you give them plays a much more determinant role.
When you’re learning a skill, you will have a lot of discouraging thoughts. “I will never learn this”, “I don’t have the mental capacity”, “I don’t have the time”, “It will take me years to learn”, “My memory sucks”. All of those thoughts can and should be challenged. They are not true, unless you believe them.
Here are some questions that Dr. Amen suggests to challenge your thoughts:
1. Is it true?
2. Can I absolutely know that it’s true?
3. How do I react when I believe that thought?
4. Who would I be without the thought? Or, how would I feel if I didn’t have the thought?
The clarity of mind I experienced last night does not happen every time. But when it does, make sure to highlight the experience in order to reinforce the positive habit of challenging negative thoughts.
“I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.”
— Mark Twain